Where to get Condoms

F:  You should have told me, I could get you some.
D: I need to go to Wilko.
M & A: Home Bargain will be cheaper.
F: Why don't you just get the free ones?
D: The free one are quite good.
F: They are made in Britain ya know.
M & A: (chuckles)
F: Seriously.

(in Home Bargain)
F: (pointing) There, there!
D:  Stop doing that!
F:  It is a normal merchandise.
(the brand is 'Mates')
M & A: Mates!

D:  Now I need some lube.
F:  Should have got the free ones!
F:  The condom section is right between all the baby stuff to remind you what might happen.
M & A:  Not D.
D:  I think these is it.
M & A:  They all say vaginal.
D:  I think they are the right ones.
F:  They are the same.
M & A & D:  Looking around the shelf.
F:  You guys are officially creepy.

D:  Can I just really take the free ones?
F:  Yes, that's why we pack them!
D:  Where are they?  They are in the usual clubs, near the bathrooms.